1. The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature takes its course.
2. It is impossible to make an asymptomatic patient feel better.
3. The urgency of the test is inversely proportional to the IQ of the insurance company pre-authorization clerk.
4. There is no cure for stupid.
5. Bad things really do happen to good people.
6. The better the surgeon, the more reluctant s/he is to operate.
7. It has to be fun.
8. If it isn't fun, see Rule 7.
9. Half of what is taught in medical school is wrong, but no one knows which half.
10. Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
11. A bad idea held by many people for a long time is still a bad idea.